Line up the r-tards
How many retards does it take to screw up a queuing system? Just one apparently.
Queuing at ATMs is one of the most frustrating things in the world for me, not because of the wait, but because of the way people go about it. It seems to me the fairest way to queue behind a bank of ATMs is for everyone to stand in one line, and people go to whichever one is next available. Unfortunately, a lot of people, particularly at uni, will take a gamble and choose an ATM which they think will become available the soonest (sort of like choosing a lane when you’re driving in traffic).
well, i try to stamp this practice out whenever i can by merging the two queues into one (by putting one foot in each queue). this works a lot of the time but occasionally some fucker will ask which queue i’m in (generally these people are fat and/or old). today it was a large, angry woman who got the better of me - she gave me a few cursory glances before sidestepping me and joining one of the queues, the slag!
it’s a bit of a rant, but am i the only one who hates this trait in human behaviour. i think the government should redirect, condom/hepatitis/syphilis awareness campaigns toward queue forming campaigns. who’s with me?
October 29th, 2004 at 9:23 am
I’m not with you, although the idea of Rich spread-eagled between two queues, eyeballed by some old porker, did yield momentary amusement.
Prefer, myself, the white-knuckled excitement of the ATM wait gamble.
You betray a instinct for risk-aversion.
October 29th, 2004 at 12:28 pm
In some sense, it’s all a question of locality. How close must the ATMs be to each other before the one queue protocol is invoked? You see where I’m going with this. Obviously, if the ATMS are 50 metres apart, two queues should and will form. As you bring them closer, at what distance is one queue appropriate? Why is the fact that they are close together reason for them to now somehow be one entity, which requires one queue? However, I know what you’re saying. And I don’t necessarily believe what I’ve written above, although it raises some interesting points.
I also have a rant, well not really a rant but an observation about pedestrians. For practical reasons, walking on any two-way thoroughfare should follow the road rules of that country. What I mean is, walk on the left here. Walk on the right in US or wherever. At times I’ve played chicken with dickheads/foreigners who won’t budge from “their side” (wrong side) of the way. I used to anyway, now I don’t really care.
October 31st, 2004 at 9:00 am
i think that if the atms are reasonably close together, there’s no physical barriers between each one, everyone is doing the same sort of transaction (which they are), and there aren’t too many people involved - then only one queue please. ‘express’ lanes at supermarkets only have one line.
i was thinking about the ‘left side only’ rule just the other day as i awkwardly danced around some smacktard.
November 30th, 2004 at 10:56 am
You people need to stay in more.
March 3rd, 2005 at 10:41 pm
Be a leader - start a queue. Anywhere, it doesn’t matter!
April 26th, 2006 at 12:58 pm
no one will ever see this comment. oh well. anyway.
Japan is my new favourite country. everything is right. but two things are super right: a) for atms they have arrows drawn on the ground to guide you through the queing process - i.e. a line shows you where you line up in single file, and then when you get to the head of the queue arrows split off to the multiple atms; and (b) at airport carousels there is a “clearaway zone” where you can’t stand except when you go in and pick up your bag, thus preventing fagwads from crowding around the carousel so that you can’t see a freaking thing, as they do in oz. so simple. so necessary. sigh..i love you Japan
April 26th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
I saw it
The atms lines are good, except at lunchtime when everyone in the whole world goes to the bank you have gone to and does their monthly banking, so you end up spending half an hour in line…
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